Disillusionment

It’s late on Monday night.  The windows are open so we can enjoy the mild weather.  All day the birds have sang in the trees and we’ve heard cars drive up and down our street, but right now in the late evening everything is silent except for the occasional dog barking.

Inside the house all is quiet too.  We sent the children to bed an hour ago.  The girls, worn out from a busy day, fell asleep quickly.  However, my son has been downstairs several times since he was tucked in.

Each time Will comes downstairs supposedly for a glass of water or to find a cat to cuddle with, but really he only wants to talk about what happened in Boston today.

“They found two bombs that didn’t go off, you know.”

“They say three people have died now.”

“The youngest person who died was an eight year old boy.”

It’s this last bit of information that really bothers Will.   A boy died today while cheering at a sporting event.  A boy, probably a lot like my son.  And this boy died, not because he was sick, which would be something almost understandable, but because somebody did a horrible and hateful thing.

Children aren’t supposed to die.  It’s a very firm, unspoken rule in the universe.  Even my eleven year old son recognizes this rule:  Kids should grow old.  And today Will discovered that this rule gets broken all the time.  Because kids do die and in tragic and horrifying ways.

My son has learned something that I didn’t want him to know yet, something that can’t be untaught.  And now he lies in bed with older, disillusioned eyes staring at the ceiling, wondering if something like this could happen to him.

And all I can do is hug him tight and kiss his forehead.  Because inside, I am asking myself the same question.

(Just Write.)

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5 Responses to Disillusionment

  1. Denise McCubbins says:

    It’s boys and girls lying awake in their beds wondering how this could have happened that will someday figure out how to stop it from ever happening again. Don’t be sad he learned the lesson, be glad his generation has the power to change the world.
    Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Chills. I am feeling the same as you. This is a tough world that we have brought our children into… but I got chills a second time with Denise’s comment. We can only hope what she says is true.

  3. My kids are still mostly protected from such things. I view this as a blessing for now, but I know it will come all too soon. And I know that they will need to face it eventually if they are not to become people who are entitled.

    That’s what I think, though inadequately worded. Visiting from Heather’s.

  4. It’s hard to put anything in to words today about this tragedy, hard to absorb it, hard to see that we have to face our children and try to make sense of something that makes no sense, hard to see them learn things they are too you and should never have to learn. And the hardest part is how to move on without completely parenting our future with fear…..

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