I have recently become infatuated with the phrase: “like a boss.” I have no idea why. My mental state, gentle reader, is a rabbit warren of bizarre twists and turns I am unable to navigate. All I know is that “like a boss” seems to transform some ordinary, random activity into something spectacularly awesome.
Much like John Cusack’s movie father in Better Off Dead or the Dad on Modern Family, I’m probably using the phrase all wrong but that does not stop me from saying or thinking the following sentences on a daily basis:
1- I can eat my weight in popcorn like a boss.
2- I stay up way too late each night reading sleazy vampire books like a boss.
3- I grocery shop like a boss.
4- I’ve memorized each episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer like a boss.
5- I can empty the dishwasher like a boss.
6- I waste time on Pinterest like a boss.
7- I correct math worksheets about reducing fractions like a boss.
8- I yell at misbehaving kids out my back door while cooking dinner like a boss.
9- I freak out like a boss when my husband is ten minutes late, imagining him dead in a ditch somewhere.
10- I diligently use my turn signal even in the parking lot like a boss.
11- I can diagnosis myself with some deadly disease after googling “persistent headache” like a boss.
What are some things you do like a boss?