Eleven reasons why I suspect I am not exactly normal.

1-  Whenever I hear the word ‘golden’ I immediately start singing “I’ve Got a Golden Ticket” from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory inside my head.  And if I hear the phrase ‘cheer up’ I instantly start humming “Cheer Up Charlie” from the same movie.  Gene Wilder evidently had a very profound effect on my early childhood.

2-  I have an irrational fear of being a victim in a bank robbery whenever I visit the bank.  This is why I try to always use the drive-through and it’s one reason why I’m no longer allowed to watch CSI.

3-  I have no desire to travel across Europe.  Instead, I’d much rather raise chickens.  And visit Maine.

4-  I love having the t.v. on as background noise while I do my miscellaneous chores, but if the radio is on I find it too distracting.

5-  I struggle to remember my social security number, but I can rattle off my library card number without thinking.

6-  Ever since a particularly traumatizing episode of Starksy and Hutch while in my early years, I have been unable to go to sleep with my back facing the bedroom doorway.  You see, if I’m facing away from the doorway some nefarious person could sneak in and stab me in the back.  And while the famous police duo Starksy and Hutch would ultimately find my killer, that is cold comfort when I’m trying to go to sleep.

7-  I can’t remember everything I’m supposed to do this week without a detailed list or reminders, but I have over 35 years of television theme songs in my head that are perfectly memorized.

8-  I was not a rebellious teenager.  The most wild and daring thing I ever did in my youth was play ‘Strip Uno.’  But we never even stripped because we were all too chicken, so we just sat there shouting “UNO!” and giggling while imagining taking off our clothes.

9-  My life’s mantra is “What would Laura Ingalls Wilder do?”  Laura Ingalls Wilder would never buy canned tomatoes at the store, she’d have her own on hand.  So I do too.  Laura Ingalls Wilder would make her own jam.  So I do too.  Would Laura Ingalls Wilder go to the store and pay lots of money for Greek yogurt?  NO.  She would make her own.  Same with ricotta cheese.  So guess what I’m making tonight?  (Please don’t burst my bubble and tell me that Mrs. Wilder didn’t indulge in Greek yogurt or ricotta cheese.  While being historically accurate that information would still make me cry.)

10-  I really like using big or unusual words.  But nine times out of ten I’ll mispronounce them, thereby canceling out any cool points the big words could earn me.

11-  I hate Peeps.  Those marshmellowy, chicken shaped, brightly colored Easter candies are unnatural and gross.  They make me shiver when I pass them in the grocery store because no matter where I stand, their haunted eyes seem to follow me.

What quirks make you not exactly normal?

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3 Responses to Eleven reasons why I suspect I am not exactly normal.

  1. Candace says:

    I know I am very un-normal because I think about the birth of one of at least one of my children every day. I’m slightly addicted to birth and I KNOW that is not normal.

  2. Denise McCubbins says:

    I’m not normal because I love choral music in all it’s forms. I love to sing it, conduct it, listen to it, kiss it………. My favorite for a few years now is a composer called Eric Whitacre. He is amazing!

    Now, about the peeps. There are many other possibilities for using them other than for food. Iii can put two in the microwave and watch them fight. Go onto the website to get other ideas. My favorite is to roast them. The outside gets all hard and carmely and the inside soft and warm. Very delicious if you can get past their beady little eyes.

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