Despite being a grown woman there are a few things I am too scared to do.
1- Read a book in the bathtub, because I’m afraid I’ll drop it in the water. And there’s nothing more sacrilegious than ruining good reading material.
2- Eat pimentos. Because they just look weird. And what kind of a word is pimento anyway? No, it’s much better to stay away from such bizarre food items.
3- Watch a movie with Gary Busey in it. He’s a little “koo koo for cocoa puffs,” if you know what I mean.
4- Go downstairs in the middle of the night and get myself a drink of water. Who knows what crazy person is lying in wait behind my kitchen island? It might be Gary Busey!
5- Read a Stephen King novel if my husband is going out of town. I made that mistake once. To make myself feel safer I had my kids sleep in the room with me. Because a three year old is going to be great protection, you know.
6- Get a bikini wax. (Enough said.)
7- Go bungee jumping. I can’t even control my bladder when I sneeze hard, how would I keep from peeing my pants while free falling through the air attached to safety by only a thin cord?
8- Buy any product that Joan Rivers endorses.
9- Look at what’s on the ground while I’m at the movie theatre. It’s just better not to know.
10- Order pizza. (I make my husband do it. Except for once when he was gone for an entire week at Boy Scout camp and left me home with the children. So desperation drove me to do it. It’s good to know that I value my mental health more than my fast food phobia.)
What’s something that you are too scared to do?