I’m going to let you in on a little secret: I watch a lot of movies. It’s the price one pays when one is naturally gifted as a couch potato and married to a former employee of Hollywood Video.
Because of all my cinematic viewing experience I have a bunch of random movie quotes inside my brain, just waiting to be used in the right situation. Here are some of my favorites.
1- “It… it was soap poisoning.” From A Christmas Story. I use this whenever I’m feeling particularly martyr like and dramatic. Which, face it, is practically everyday.
2- “Ring ring. Who is it? Destiny! I’ve been expecting your call.” From Bolt. My youngest child went through a very long Bolt stage so I can almost quote the entire movie verbatim, but this is one of my particularly favorite lines. And whenever I’m waiting for a phone call this is what goes through my mind.
3- “It’s in the ‘Freezes Beautifully’ section of my cookbook, and I want to make something that freezes beautifully.” Annelle says this in Steel Magnolias. Oh how I love that movie! It’s another one that I could quote all day long. I say this quote to myself whenever I’m cooking an extra of helping of something that I can freeze for later.
4- “I’m setting booty traps!” “You mean booby traps?” “That’s what I said! Booby traps!” From The Goonies. This movie was one of my favorites during the late 80’s and the characters all use the phrase “That’s what I said!” almost a dozen times after they’ve mispronounced something. So whenever I don’t say something exactly right and someone nails me on it I break out this quote to distract them from my idiocy.
5- “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.” From Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. One of my few regrets in life is that I live in a city without a Circle K so I don’t say this quote as often as I would like.
6- “With me, without me. WITH me, without me.” From Knight and Day. Despite how much Tom Cruise drives me crazy when he opens his mouth about postpartum depression, I have to admit that he can, on occasion, make a really good movie. And this is one of them.
7- “We have an unusual problem Jane, you obviously want me dead and I am less and less concerned for your well being. So what do we do?” (Mr. and Mrs. Smith) This is the best line to use when you’re fighting with your spouse because they will a- realize you have awesome taste in movies and that arguing with you is pointless, and b- that they should back down so that you don’t have to get in a gun fight with them.
8- “You know Ed, if I thought you weren’t my friend, I just don’t think I could bear it.” Doc Holliday in Tombstone. I love the movie Tombstone with my whole heart (which is another reason why my husband thinks I am such a great catch.) Pretty much anything that Doc Holliday says is golden, but this is one of my favorite lines.
9- “You’re killing me Smalls.” From the Sandlot, which is probably one of my favorite movies of all time. I use this quote whenever my children do something ridiculous. Which is every day of my life.
10- “There is no charge for awesomeness. Or attractiveness.” From the opening scene of Kung Fu Panda. Occasionally when I am looking exceptionally fine and my husband notices, I say this. It’s one of the best movie lines of all time.
11- “It vexes me. I am terribly vexed.” From Gladiator. I love this quote, even though most of the normal world won’t even remember it. My husband and I use this often to describe some unpleasant experience we’ve had, such as a visit to the DMV. Just saying it relieves irritating feelings greatly. Try it.
12- “You sit on a throne of lies!” From Elf. Oh Will Ferrell, you make me laugh. Every time I pass by one of those Mall Santas I say this to myself and chuckle. It’s also a handy quote to have when someone is obviously full of bull (say when one of your children has chocolate all over their face but claims to have no idea where the Christmas candy went.)
So there are my top movie quotes. What are yours?