So my husband and I have made a vow. A quite serious vow. So serious, that our son offered to use a limp straw and his deep knowledge of all things Harry Potter to make it an unbreakable vow.
So what exactly are we promising? Prepare yourself and shield any young children who might be near the computer screen, it’s quite shocking.
We are not going to eat out for a month.
Indecent, isn’t it? And we call ourselves good
consumers, I mean Americans too.
Here’s the thing. We need to save more money than what we have been saving. My entire family is planning a special fun filled vacation in a year or so, my husband has a decent chance of being laid off in the next eighteen months, and one day we actually want to do this thing called retirement. I hear it’s a blast.
There’s not a lot of things we can cut out of our anorexic budget. We don’t have cable (HGTV and Bravo, Mommy misses you!), we don’t drink overly priced coffee in swanky shops (plumbers aren’t allowed in swanky shops), and we can’t find a better cell phone contract (as we’re the only people in the Midwest above the age of 13 that do not have cell phones AT ALL.)
So the only thing we can realistically cut is our dining out portion of the budget. <Sob, sniffle.> Which, granted, isn’t a lot, but even a paltry sum is something.
What this means is that I can’t turn to my husband, after a long hard day of canning tomato sauce, teaching multiplication, and cleaning up the toxic mess in the children’s bathroom and say, “Call Pizza Hut, STAT.” It means I am going to have to be organized, prepared in advance, and work harder. It means I’m going to do this whole grown-up parenting stuff without the safety net of McDonald’s.
And it might mean that occasionally I am tempted to call a divorce lawyer.
Tonight would have been a perfect night to order something in. The children were cranky, the husband was grumpy, the kitchen was messy, and Mommy was lethargic with a capital L. I so badly wanted to turn to my husband and say, “Please, just go get something. We can start this insanity tomorrow.” From the look I saw in his eye, he wanted me to say it too.
But I didn’t. Instead I made Asian Coleslaw with Seasoned Chicken. And it was tasty.
But it sure as hell wasn’t convenient. And the kitchen is even messier now. Vows suck.
(Incidentally, I have made no such vows about OTHER people taking me out to eat, so if any of you kind, compassionate readers out there want to take me out? Let me just get my keys.)