I hate airports. A cautionary tale.

Six years ago I endured the worst airplane ride of my life.  Our luggage was not lost, the plane was on time, and I got an extra bag of pretzels.  So why do I remember it to this day with fear and loathing?  Two reasons:  one boy aged 3 years and a little girl almost 2 years old.   My beautiful children.

To save money we had booked a flight with one connection and my youngest child sat on my lap.  (By the way, I no longer endorse these actions as wise or frugal.)  Fifteen minutes after take-off my little girl turned to look at me, then threw up all over my shirt.

It gets even better.  Before we made our connecting flight, I took my oldest child to use the bathroom.  Halfway through his “business” the automatic toilet flush went off, scaring the living daylights out of him.  He jumped off the seat (still doing his “business,” and might I add, all over my legs), burst into tears, and when he landed he was a scarred little boy with an automatic toilet phobia.  And I was an extremely smelly mother.

Fast forward six years later.  I have three children and once again we are going to fly the friendly skies.  Before boarding the plane I decided it would be wise to utilize the airport bathroom.  (If my life was a movie, at this point there would be sirens and flashing lights while a computerized voice shouts “Danger Will Robinson!  Danger Will Robinson!”)  I placed my last born on the automatic toilet seat.  History then repeats itself because I apparently am a fool who refuses to learn from the past.  The four year old cries, clothes are soiled, and a new automatic toilet phobia is born.

I hate airports.  The end.

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This entry was posted in rantings and ravings, The Big Girl, The Boy, The Little Girl. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to I hate airports. A cautionary tale.

  1. Mindy says:

    So, I am nearly in need of one of the aforementioned automatic toilets just reading this. We encountered much the same experience last month on a ROAD TRIP. Except that in addition to the experience you recounted, my girls were a hysterical mess because someone ELSE flushed the potty before them. (They are kind of territorial when it comes to flushing.)

    Looks like we just need to help our children develop travel bladders! 🙂

  2. Kristin H. says:

    My E took forever to get over automatic flushing toilets for the same reason, same goes with my boy! Stupid toilets that can’t sense tiny children bums! This post title should read “I hate Automatic flushing toilets” because it seems like everything else in the Airports treated you okay?!

    Oh Ami I could comment all day on your blog (and I just might). It really is a dream come true that you started this. ha ha you think I’m kidding but I’m not 🙂 I have entertainment for as long as you (and your children) shall live!

  3. Natalie says:

    Sounds like a truly amazing flight. Not. But I’m so glad you lived to tell about it.

    Hey, here’s a tip I heard about automatic toilets. Apparently if you carry post it notes with you and slap a couple of those on the sensor beforehand, you can prevent them from flushing until you and your little one are good and ready.

  4. Jenny says:

    I started carrying a pack of sticky notes to ward off the auto flush. That sucker sounds like it will take your child when it goes off!

    • bunkersdown says:

      That makes you a cool ‘MacGyver’ sort of mom. I end up having to use my hand and then I’m hunched over the toilet, just a little to close to all the action. Your way is definitely better. Note to self: buy sticky notes.

  5. Pingback: Our last, first day of preschool. Another reminder I am old as dirt. | bunkers down.

  6. Pingback: I would drive 1064 miles. And I would drive 1064 more. | bunkers down.

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