Act one, scene four: “The Grocery Store.”

Scene takes place at a crowded grocery store in a slightly run down place in town that we went to because they had a good sale.

The big girl says in a breathless voice, as she steps directly in front of someone’s cart and is almost crushed: “Mom, I just had a thought.  We only have one house.  We’re practically homeless!”

A slightly frazzled Mom, clutching her grocery list, avoids eye contact with the owner of the cut-off cart, then realizes what her oldest daughter has said: “Seriously?  What are you talking about?”

The big girl huffs offendedly and crosses her arms:  “You NEVER listen to me!  I’m not important to you anymore!  That’s not LOVE!”

Mom ponders quickly whether to address her oldest daughter’s feelings of abandonment or use this opportunity as a teaching moment to correct her daughter’s misconstrued sense of what homelessness truly means.  However, the mom is prevented from doing either because the little girl, seizing her chance, has grabbed a large bag of chips, crushed them to her chest, and is shouting:  “I want these guys!  They are MINE!”

The son (a.k.a. “tiny professor”) now enters into the conversation:  “You can’t have chips, because they are not healthy.  There are no vitamins like potassium or calcium in those things.  Can you say potassium?”

Fellow shopper snorts (either because she realizes that potassium and calcium are in fact not vitamins, but rather minerals, or because she wouldn’t be caught dead bringing three crazy children into a crowded grocery store in a bad part of town.  The audience is left to interpret it as they will.)

End scene.


It’s Monday and I’m being “miss Elaine-ous” over at the Miss Elaine-ous Life.

This entry was posted in parenting, The Big Girl, The Boy, The Little Girl. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Act one, scene four: “The Grocery Store.”

  1. whitney says:

    Bwahahahaha! hahahaha!
    Hahahahaha! hHahahaha!

  2. Allison says:

    I love reading this blog! What a great idea:)

  3. Elaine A. says:

    I SO would have snorted too. But only because that could have been me in the same “scene”. Thanks for linking up and for the laughs. 😀

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