Five years old.

It’s still birthday season around here at Bunkersdown.  Today my youngest daughter is celebrating her fifth birthday.  (Yes, Eden’s birthday is the day after my birthday.  And the reason her birthday is the day after mine?  Because I refused to labor on my birthday.)

It’s official:  my baby is no longer a baby.   In fact, in two more weeks there will no longer be a preschooler at my home.  Instead, I will be the mother of all elementary school aged children.

I’m feeling a little light headed.  Let me pause for a moment to catch my breath and put my head between my knees.

How on earth did it come to this?   Just yesterday Eden was:

A thoughtful and pondering newborn…

Or a bald, smiling one year old…

Or contemplative two year old…

Or a wild and crazy three year old….

Or lovable, entertaining four year old…

And now she’s five years old.  Can you believe it?

I cannot believe it.

Happy birthday my big, little girl.

Posted in The Little Girl | 11 Comments

39 things I plan to do this year.

It’s that birthday time of year again.  Da da da DA…..I’m turning 39 years old this week.

I’ll pause so that you can sing to me in your head.  (My favorite song is the Beatles’ “You Say it’s Your Birthday.”

Last year for my birthday I wrote about 38 things I had learned in my 38 years.  This year I decided to create my own little mini-bucket list for my 39th year.  Because now that I’m older, I’m more mature and productive and all that jazz.

Here are the things I want to accomplish in the next 365 days.

1-  Make my very own puff pastry from scratch.  Why?  Because Pinterest tells me I can.  Plus, I’m too cheap to spend $4.79 at the store.

2-  Drop 2 dress sizes.

3-  Go somewhere with my husband for 72 consecutive hours, leaving the children in the care of responsible adults.  (If you’d like to apply for that position drop me a note in the comments.)

4-  Go camping someplace we’ve never been, despite the anxiety I feel out in nature due to watching The River Wild one too many times.  Curse you Kevin Bacon.

5-  Visit the COSI museum in Columbus, Ohio.

6-  Read a real biography about Abraham Lincoln, since I fell in love with the fake biography: Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter.  (Seriously it’s a good book people.)

7-  Swim in Lake Michigan.  Or, more realistically, wade in Lake Michigan.

8-  Create the perfect green enchilada sauce.

9-  Sew something.  With an actual sewing machine.

10- Learn to take pictures in low light on my camera.  Or at least improve enough to be able to distinguish people from pets in my photos.

11- Do something crafty for each major holiday.  (I think I can, I think I can….)

12- Make five new friends.

13- Become somewhat knowledgeable about ancient Egypt.  I’m broadening my mind here people.

14- Teach my youngest child to read, without freaking out OR causing her to require therapy later in life.

15- Read ten more books about urban farming, because the twenty five books I’ve already read aren’t enough.

16- Take my kids rollerskating.

17- Buy silicone muffin pans.  Because I have silicone baking needs, people.

18-  Learn to make homemade flour tortillas that are actually round in shape, as opposed to the trapezoid ones I make now.

19-  Watch every episode of The Big Bang Theory, preferably with my spouse.

20- Visit the Museum of Industry and Science in Chicago.

21- Photograph my husband teaching the youngest child to ride a bike.

22-  Order something at a restaurant that I’ve never eaten before because I can be brave occasionally.

23- Learn to make a new type of jam.  (Ideas, suggestions, or recipes would be appreciated.)

24- Cross at least twenty-five books off my “to-read” shelf over on goodreads.  Since I’ve marked 363 books that I want to read, I’ll have a lot to choose from.

25- Memorize a poem.

26- Get 15 more people to follow my blog.

27- Read Artemis Fowl to my kids.

28- Try out four new zucchini recipes, because zucchinis are everywhere in Indiana during the months of June through September.

29- Throw somebody I’m related to an awesome birthday party.  (I’m notoriously horrible at that kind of stuff.)

30- Try a new kind of cheese.  Because cheese is awesome and I deserve it.

31- Get a clothesline for the backyard.  I might do more laundry if I had a clothesline….

32- Teach my oldest children to clean the bathrooms.  And then sit on the couch and shout “I HAVE ARRIVED!” when they finally master cleaning the toilets.

33- Do a random act of service for someone every week without being asked.  And I’m not going to feel guilty if it’s small rather than large.

34- Splurge on one nice piece of clothing for my wardrobe without flinching at the price tag.

35- Plant raspberry canes in my backyard, so I can pretend to be Laura Ingalls Wilder even more.

36- Go on more dates with my husband.

37- Be more deliberate in what I am doing and multitask less.

38- Sincerely compliment more people.

39- Finally, I’m going to sweat the small stuff less.  And most of it is small stuff.

Why don’t you leave a comment telling me something you want to do in the next year?  A comment will make a lovely birthday present (and won’t cost you a nickel.)

Posted in lists, musings | 30 Comments

Why I shouldn’t be allowed to use slang.

I have recently become infatuated with the phrase:  ”like a boss.”  I have no idea why.  My mental state, gentle reader, is a rabbit warren of bizarre twists and turns I am unable to navigate.  All I know is that “like a boss” seems to transform some ordinary, random activity into something spectacularly awesome.

Much like John Cusack’s movie father in Better Off Dead or the Dad on Modern Family, I’m probably using the phrase all wrong but that does not stop me from saying or thinking the following sentences on a daily basis:

1-  I can eat my weight in popcorn like a boss.

2-  I stay up way too late each night reading sleazy vampire books like a boss.

3-  I grocery shop like a boss.

4-  I’ve memorized each episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer like a boss.

5-  I can empty the dishwasher like a boss.

6-  I waste time on Pinterest like a boss.

7-  I correct math worksheets about reducing fractions like a boss.

8-  I yell at misbehaving kids out my back door while cooking dinner like a boss.

9-  I freak out like a boss when my husband is ten minutes late, imagining him dead in a ditch somewhere.

10- I diligently use my turn signal even in the parking lot like a boss.

11- I can diagnosis myself with some deadly disease after googling “persistent headache” like a boss.

What are some things you do like a boss?

Posted in lists | 6 Comments

Divisions of labor.

For the past decade my children operated under the mistaken idea that I am incapable of changing the batteries in their many electronic toys.  This is due to my carefully executed plan of feigned ignorance (“Oh sweetie, this looks like we need tools.  We’ll have Daddy do it when he gets home.”) that resulted in my husband doing all the battery switching in our house for the last ten years.

You see, it’s not that I don’t know how to change the batteries, it’s that I don’t want to change the batteries.

My cover was blown recently when we got a wireless mouse that uses batteries.  They went dead during a critical moment of internet surfing and I was forced to reveal my hidden knowledge of  AA’s.

Stupid computer addiction.

My husband was amazed that I had kept up the charade for so long.  I’m not sure why he doubts my acting skills.  But then again he is still under the mistaken impression that I don’t know how to shampoo the carpet.  (“But dear, it just looks so complicated with all those levers and gadgets.” <wring hands nervously.> “And you’re so good at it, with your strong muscles.”<bats eyes suggestively.>)

Posted in family, musings | 2 Comments

Scenes from a Monday morning.

This morning the weather was simply lovely.  The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the flowers were blooming.  When you couple that with the fact that I finally figured out how to work the ‘close-up’ button on my camera you get a blog post full of flowers.

Columbine flowers.  I love these purple guys.  You plant them in one spot and the next year they come up in a completely different spot.  They’re always a surprise.

Peonies.  I’m pretty sure they have peonies in heaven year round.

And lilacs.  Heaven wouldn’t be heaven without lilacs.

Here’s some allium with a shot of the four year old thrown in for free.  (What can I say?  I’m a giver.)

The iris are getting ready to bloom, they’re so proud and refined.

And here’s another peony.  Because it’s my party and I can take pictures of peonies if I want to.

Finally, my favorite ‘flour’ of the day.  It smells delicious and it’s edible:

What are some of your favorite flowers?

Posted in Domestic Arts, gardening | 6 Comments

Some delicious eye-candy.

The dictionary definition of eye-candy is: visual images that are attractive and entertaining, but intellectually undemanding.

Here’s my definition of eye-candy:

Strawberries are the easiest things I’ve ever grown.  Seriously.

All you really need to do is build a raised bed (or better yet bribe someone else to do it for you), buy strawberry plants at a nursery, plant them in the dirt, and wait.  (Waiting is the hardest part.)

Every year the strawberry plants send out little runners that will grow into new strawberry plants.  Three years ago, we started with 18 plants that we purchased at a nursery for a grand total of $18 and now I estimate that we have anywhere from 55 to 65 strawberry plants.

There’s very little maintenance to my strawberries.  Now that they’ve filled up the plot I hardly ever need to weed them and since they’re in a raised bed they can’t spread anywhere I don’t want them to.  During a dry spell I might need to water them, but usually the spring rains keep everything wet enough.  The best part is that as old strawberry plants grow old and die, new ones will take their place, so there’s not a lot of cost involved.

The best part?  After very little work you get bowls of delicious, delicious strawberries.  I figure eating homegrown strawberries is the closest thing to heaven on earth.

Unless you are eating homegrown strawberries while watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  A little vampire slaying makes everything better.

Posted in gardening | 5 Comments

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Tonight I indulged in a little snuggle time with my four year old.  She’s my drug of choice lately when I need to unwind.

She was being particularly silly and winsome.  (Seriously, is there anything more charming than a small child trying to delay bedtime with their story telling abilities?  I think not.)

After she told me a particularly gripping, yet hilarious account of a chicken nugget far from his home, I kissed her forehead and said, “Good night my little nutball.”

“Oh Mom, you say that every night!” scolded Eden shaking her head, “But you really mean meatball because everybody knows there’s no such thing as a nutball.”

Oh my little meatball, sleep tight.  And never, ever grow up.

 

Posted in The Little Girl | 1 Comment