The last of the little years.

Posted on May 7, 2013 by

The early morning light is coming in through my bedroom window.  From my bed, I can look across the room to where my daughters sleep on their mattresses on the floor.

The girls’ bedroom make-over project has taken far longer than we had anticipated.  So, instead of rooming with us for just a few days, they have slept in our room for the past couple of weeks.

I don’t mind too much, actually.  There is something rather reassuring when you see the things most precious to you as soon as your eyes open.

This particular day, as I glance across the room, I notice that Eden has slept with her butterfly net.  It was an early birthday present from her grandmother, and hasn’t left her side for three days now.  Another reminder that my baby is having a birthday this week.

It’s a rather big birthday at that.  She’s turning six, which sounds incredibly older and more mature than merely being five.  My husband says that five is the last of the little years and I believe him.  There are oceans between five and six.  Galaxies.

The signs of her aging are easy to see today.  Eden takes up more of the mattress now as she sleeps in her bed, her legs stretched out straight and long.  Her hands have lost the dimpled chubbiness that toddlers have.  Instead, her fingers are thin and nimble so she can practice her piano lessons or try to tie her shoes.

The baby part of her has silently melted away these past few years, slowly but surely, and now it’s shocking to realize in that tiny one’s place is a gangly kid who has bruises on her knees from trying to ride a bicycle.  A kid who has her own favorite songs on the radio and is allowed to use the microwave.

And now, this particular morning as I notice how much she has grown, I am left a little blinded and teary-eyed.  As if I have stared at the sun too long.

She is dazzling.  Dazzling.

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(Just Write.)

Posted in The Little Girl | 4 Comments

Mental health day.

Posted on May 6, 2013 by

Today, a universal mental health day was pronounced for everyone here at Bunkersdown.

It was a well needed break since one small person had an earache and upset belly all night, Daddy had a headache, and  Mom was exhausted.  So, as a family, we skipped church, stayed in our pajamas, and rested.

Here is what I discovered:  The family that slacks off together, rejuvenates together.  With nothing to do and no place to go, I was able to de-stress and stop talking in a high pitched voice, the children ceased in their perpetual arguing, and my husband’s pinched forehead once more became smooth and unwrinkled.

We missed church, it is true.  That doesn’t happen very often around here.  But I believe that some days, laying in bed well into the morning while your children are laughing downstairs is spiritual.  Eating popcorn and lemonade slushies for lunch can be a religious experience.  And watching the rain fall on strawberry plants feels sacred.

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Quite simply, there are days when what you need most is the religion of family.

Posted in just everyday life | Leave a comment

It’s valium season. Again.

Posted on May 1, 2013 by

We set the trampoline up last week.  The children rejoiced heartily, while I, despite my outward signs of acquiescence, began my internal freak-out.

In my head, I know that with rules and supervision, the trampoline is a relatively safe contraption.  My heart, however, refuses to concede to any such foolish belief system.

To distract my heart, I find taking pictures of my children while they are jumping to be oddly soothing.  It is also quite enjoyable afterwards when I assign fake captions to the pictures.

The title of this photo is:  ”I believe I can fly.”  (And now I’m singing the song.  And so are you.  You’re welcome.)

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The photo shows Eden re-enacting scenes from The Matrix.  Given that she’s never even seen the movie, I find this natural ability to imitate such a quality film, amazing.

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This photo’s caption is: “Everyone stop!  I’ve lost my contact!”  (No, Eden doesn’t wear contacts, but this is what I imagine she’d look like if she lost one.)

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When I look at this picture, I imagine Will saying in an evil genius voice, “My plans of bouncing my sister to Bermuda are finally coming to fruition.”  I can’t decide if Eden is a minion saying “Whoa,” in tones of admiration; or, if she’s an innocent bystander calling for help.  Her expression is very ambiguous.

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Finally we have an avant-garde piece in which Trinity and Eden wave to the boy sitting on an invisible barstool.

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See how fun this is?  Now I almost feel calm.  No, wait.  The kids are headed for the backyard again.

Dang it.  Pass the valium please.

Posted in musings, The Big Girl, The Boy, The Little Girl | 4 Comments

On my list.

Posted on April 30, 2013 by

I’m sitting on the couch, deep in thought, planning my to-do list for the next day.  Despite the day only having twenty-four hours, the list seems far too long.  I frown, knowing that tomorrow hasn’t even happened yet, and already I’m behind.

My five year old sits next to me, dressed in her Hello Kitty pajamas and smelling like apple shampoo.  ”Hey Mom, what’s that?” Eden asks me.

“It’s a list of the things I want to do tomorrow, ” I answer her absentmindedly.

“Wow, Mom.  You do A LOT,”  Eden gives me a big hug, “I just love you.”

“Thanks babe, I love you too.” I say as I struggle to free my arms from her tight grip of affection.  ”But I really need to figure this out.”

“No Mom,” Eden says adamantly, “I mean I really, really love you.  So much.”  She takes her hands to hold my face, making sure we look each other in the eyes.  ”I love you so much, even when you don’t give me what I want.  I’m just full of love for you.”

I see by her expression that she is, indeed, full of love for me and suddenly I am amazed by my good fortune.  I am well and truly adored by this precious, innocent, lovely person.

With that realization, the weight of unemployment and the burden of a seemingly endless supply of projects around the house evaporate, leaving me renewed.  Refreshed.

I toss the to-do list to the side and scoop up my five year old.  ”Really?”  I ask her.  ”Well, I love you so, so much that I can’t even stand it.  In fact, if I don’t tickle you soon I might just burst with love.”

Eden shrieks with delight as I chase her around the couch.  We laugh together as I catch her and, as warned, begin to tickle her belly.

Even after I stop, she keeps giggling, as she snuggles onto my lap and lays her head on my shoulder.

“Don’t you need to finish your list Mom?”  Eden asks me, hoping I’ll say no.

“Babe, this is the most important thing on my list.” I tell her, and it’s true.

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(Just Write.)

Posted in just everyday life, The Little Girl | 6 Comments

A house in chaos (and angsty French cats.)

Posted on April 26, 2013 by

Well, gentle reader, I am sad to report that I have no organizational project for you this Friday.  Oh, it is not for lack of trying.  Indeed there are several half completed projects around the house.  However, this week seemed to be a parade of small home disasters, causing me to go from room to room making temporary quick fixes here and there.

I keep telling myself that by next Friday everything will be neat, tidied, and organized.  I just say it over and over to myself, until I stop hyperventilating.

But I couldn’t leave you empty handed, I have too much love for you gentle reader, to do something like that.  Watch the video, that’s my present to you.

No matter how completely chaotic and crazy my life has become, I can comfort myself with the fact that poor, poor Henri the cat has it worse than me.

(I first saw this beauteous video over at Moosh in Indy.  As always, Casey changed my life for the better that day.)

Posted in Whoops. Got Lazy. | 5 Comments

Lasagna Pizza.

Posted on April 25, 2013 by

I’m not going to lie to you, gentle reader.  The past two weeks have been a mite stressful over here.

In moments of stress, I tend to cope by eating large amounts of carbohydrates.  I’m not going to apologize for this.  Well, except to my butt.

Sorry butt.  It’s all my fault you’re so big.

Two days ago, when the craziness at my house was at its peak, I resolved to make sausage lasagna for dinner.  Then I changed my mind because of the high sodium content.

But then I was all, “My freaking closet imploded, I deserve sausage lasagna,” and put it back on the menu.  Shortly thereafter, rational thinking reared its head and I was all, “Do I really want to endure some kidney stones, just to eat comfort food?  No.  No sausage lasagna.”

Then the cats decided to throw up all over the living room carpet and my five year old walked in it and tracked it into the kitchen.  Then I was all, “Sausage lasagna, STAT.”

However, by then, all my waffling had used up too much time, and there was none left to actually make the stinking lasagna.  Once again, my kidneys were saved by indecision.

So, I put my thinking cap on and pondered what I could make in a short amount of time with sausage, cream cheese, and mozzarella.  The clouds parted and I had a vision, a vision of supreme sausage/cheese loveliness and deliciousness.  All on a pizza crust.

That is how Lasagna Pizza was created.

In my fridge I had a container of five minute no knead pizza dough.  (Seriously, if you haven’t checked this book out, you really need to.  It has changed my life.)  I took out two grapefruit scoops of dough to make two large pizzas and set them on some parchment paper to rest for a few minutes while I browned the sausage.

After browning the sausage, I rolled out the pizza dough and spread a thin layer of softened cream cheese (approximately two ounces) on top of each.

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Next I spooned some of my home canned tomato sauce mixed with some oregano (zero milligrams of sodium- in your face, Ragu.) over the cream cheese.  Over the tomato sauce I sprinkled the cooked sausage (about one cup per pizza.)  Finally, I added mozzarella cheese to cover the whole shebang (again, about one cup per pizza.)

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I baked the pizzas, one at a time, on a pre-heated pizza stone in a 450 degree oven for twelve minutes or so, until the crust was golden and the pizza was bubbly.

Then I took it out of the oven and my entire family sighed in anticipation.

This pizza was delicious and gave us the illusion that we were eating sausage lasagna, on a fabulous pizza crust.

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Meanwhile, my kidneys rejoiced because instead of the 600 milligrams per tiny serving in the original lasagna recipe, my pizza came in at approximately 150 milligrams of sodium per big ol’ slice.

So I had two slices and felt pretty darn proud of myself.

Then the cat threw up again and I had one more slice.  Which left me feeling less proud of myself, but very full of delicious pizza.

Sorry, once again, butt.

Posted in In the kitchen | 1 Comment

When it rains, it pours. Like a monsoon.

Posted on April 23, 2013 by

This morning I was in my bathroom, getting ready for the day, when my closet exploded.  Basically, the entire shelving system self-destructed and now shirts, dresses, ties, and sweaters make a three foot tall pile on the carpet.

Additionally, this morning there are two construction men in my daughters’ bedroom replacing part of the window and wall because we have evidently had a roof leak for the past three years which has caused everything to become rotten and moldy.

Did I mention that today is Tuesday, which means that the kids are having an hour and a half of piano lessons in the library downstairs?  Lots of enthusiastic playing set to a ticking metronome.

To paint a fuller picture, I feel I should also point out that I am teaching my ten year old about improper fractions at the kitchen table today, in the midst of piano scales, loud hammering, and a giant clothes tsunami.

My grasp on good mental health is slipping, I fear.

If you need me this afternoon, I’ll be curled up on the couch, in a fetal position while hiding my head under a pillow.

Posted in musings | 2 Comments