Today was one of those days.
Today I taught my fourth grader about equivalent fractions. The best thing I can say is that no one cried.
Today was also when I attempted to show my fifth grader how to make conversions in the metric system. (The best thing I can say about this is that no one died, since someone actually did cry, out of sheer frustration and mental agony. I’m not saying who though.)
And it seems that today was the day my five year old decided to stamp her foot and growl, “WHAT?” whenever I called her downstairs.
Today my kitchen sink was filled higher than ever before with dirty dishes and pans that I just haven’t had a chance to clean yet.
Today a grand total of six laundry baskets overflowing with clean clothes waited in my living room for me to fold them. Sadly they are still waiting.
Not that I’m counting, but today was Day 15 of my husband’s month long overtime schedule. While I’m more than grateful for the extra money, I hate this whole single parent gig. Hate it, hate it, hate it.
Today I had my renal ultrasound, then waited for over an hour to talk to my urologist about the results.
(Today I made a goal to use the word ‘renal’ as many times as possible.)
Today, Dr. Peacock informed me I have a new kidney stone sitting in my other kidney, just waiting to wreak havoc on my renal system.
Today I may have used the phrase, “What the hell?!?” in my urologist’s office.
And today I made the decision to be pre-emptive with Kidney Stone The Sequel, and agreed to undergo another bout of lithotripsy to destroy it, before it destroys me.
Today I was given two extremely large orange containers and instructed to fill them up with my pee, so I can bring it in for all the renal scientists to analyze.
Today, in either a blatant act of symbolism or grim foreshadowing, each of my daughters spilt glasses of water all over the table and the floor. So. Much. Water. dripping everywhere.
Today, several times I shook my head and muttered, “This cannot be my life.”
Today I discovered that my son needs to be somewhere on Friday at the same time my daughter needs to be someplace else. Incidentally, my husband and I are scheduled for something in a third location just minutes later.
Today I might have suffered a small brain aneurysm.
In any case, today was the day I collapsed on the couch and cried out, “It’s just too heavy Sam! I can’t carry it!” Unfortunately there was no Hobbit gardener to hoist me to the top of the mountain and help me achieve all the important things I still had left to do. Where are you Samwise Gamgee when I need you?
The good news? Today is almost over. (And the people all cried, “Hallelujah!”)
“The house-mother sighed. ”Our work is never done, but there we are. That is just one of the things that God has said must be. He said: mothers must work hard. That is a firm rule.”
The Limpopo Academy of Private Detection, by Alexander McCall Smith