Breaking news! Rockstar/supermodel Eden was seen frequenting a local Indiana kitchen for lunch today.
Eden, a Hooiser celebrity, rocketed to fame after her mother posted her wildly insane, five year old antics on a local blog: Bunkersdown. Here’s what Eden had to say when our reporters caught up with her.
Reporter eyeing the cluttered kitchen warily: So Eden, I’m surprised to see you here in such…humble surroundings.
Eden: Yeah, well, I like to keep it real. Plus, the owner and I go way back. She’s my mom.
Reporter: So what do you recommend to eat?
Eden: I love the house specialty- peanut butter and honey. It’s my favorite. Although the woman can make a wicked bowl of spaghettios.
Reporter: Describe for your fans this look you’ve been sporting around lately.
Eden: I call it retro slob with a little rock and roll thrown in for good measure. You know, this headband and I go way back. I’ve had it since I was two. My old lady keeps trying to throw it out, but I just hide it. I love how I can put it on myself, breaking free from the apron strings, if you know what I mean. Freedom!
Reporter: Well, it definitely makes a statement, doesn’t it? So, can you tell us about your latest projects?
Eden: I’m really into the watercolor paints right now. The paint just speaks to my soul, man. Especially when I splatter it all over like a crazy person. I’ve done some of my best work right at this table.
Reporter: Really, isn’t that some kind of health code violation? Mixing paint with food?
Eden: I’m going to let you in on a little secret, dude, I don’t really care about the rules. It drives the proprietor here crazy, but I say just follow your heart. Carpe diem, and all that jazz. You’re only five, like once in your life. Know what I’m saying, man?
Reporter: I see….Well the public sure seems to love that devil-may-care attitude you have.
Eden: I know, right? It drives all the other mommas crazy. They eat it up with a spoon! And if I really want to get them going I just flash them my gappy tooth smile. Works every time.
Reporter: Thanks Eden, for taking the time to talk with us today. Anything else you’d like to say to our viewers?
Eden: You know that old saying? Keep your friends close and your sippy cup closer. That’s my life motto, dude. Just remember the important things and you can’t go wrong.
And there you have it Eden fans. A little insight into a very complicated child. Now we return you to your regularly scheduled blog post.