It’s come to my attention that perhaps I’m not blogging enough about my older children. Let me remedy this immediately.
This is my son.
The best way to describe my first born child is that he is 70% Howard Cosell, 25% Percy Weasley, and 5% Alex Trebec of Jeopardy! (Now don’t say you’re too young to remember who Howard Cosell is. That will make me feel very old, just click on the link. Or better yet watch Better Off Dead, that movie has a hilarious scene that mentions Howard Cosell.)
Will loves sports but he also loves rules, procedures, and random bits of trivia. Most of all, he just loves bossing people around.
Will says and does hilarious things because he considers himself an adult trapped inside a ten year old body.
Here are a few things he’s said and done that have entertained me thoroughly over the years:
*When Will was four, our family went on vacation and stayed in a beach house. Upon arriving at the rental property, Will walked around surveying the scene. Finally he looked up and asked suavely, “So….how many vacuums you got in this place?” (Additionally, it was on this vacation that Will tried to put the ocean in ‘time out’ because he got knocked down by one of the waves.)
*Furthering our vacuum theme, Will once went on strike from his chores of cleaning the living room floor until his Dad bought a Dyson vacuum. When we eventually purchased a Dyson (which we did because I wanted one, not because we were caving to a small child), Will shouted excited “I’m back on the job!”
*Two years ago when Will was in public school, I discovered that he had been sneaking his church tie in his backpack everyday to put on once he left home. He had done this for six months before I found out. Will claimed that wearing a tie made him think better, plus it helped him look like the principal.
*Once after having a small argument with his best friend on the phone, Will muttered darkly to himself, “I’m so tired of being his pawn.”
*After learning about World War II, Will became a tad bit obsessed with Adolf Hitler. My son kept shaking his head and saying, “Hitler never drank alcohol or smoked when he was young. I can’t believe how he turned out! I think it would have been much better to drink and smoke a little bit and not grow up to murder so many people.”
*Once I cooked something Will deemed unsuitable for consumption. He looked at his plate, looked at me, and sighed, “Well…you did your best. That’s what is important.”
*One morning I was singing along to Justin Timberlake’s “I’m Bringing Sexy Back” while driving in the car. Will leaned forward and asked, “Do you really think this appropriate with me in the car?”
This is my son, keeping me on my toes since 2001.