I’ve had a few deep thoughts this weekend. And by deep thoughts I mean weird random crap that my brain keeps floating around as I try to fall asleep. Here are a few of the pressing issues that kept me awake last night.
1- Why don’t grocery stores carry eggnog year round? What about eggnog makes it suitable for imbibing only during winter holidays? Seriously, some of us have eggnog needs outside the month of December.
2- Imbibing is a funny word that should be used more often in everyday conversation.
3- Serial killers probably watch shows like Criminal Minds and CSI for tips on how not to get caught. We are educating a group of super villains in our need for violent television entertainment.
4- I’ve never bought a single canning jar in my entire life and yet I own over a hundred of them. They just somehow find their way to my house. I run a home for wayward glass jars. I am the canning jar whisperer.
5- There really is such a thing as too many jellybeans. Which is a sad and digestively disturbing thought.
6- I am so obviously a trend setter because over 419 people repinned the book nook image I pinned the other day on Pinterest (disclaimer: if you haven’t heard of Pinterest, you’ll have no idea what that last sentence meant.) This also reassures me that I am not the only person in the world obsessed with bookshelves. Pinterest has once again validated my entire existence.
7- Why does breakfast always taste better when it’s served as dinner? Is it because this small act of rebellion enhances our taste buds? Or is there some atmospheric science that makes hashbrowns taste so dang good in the evening?
8- I really despise Tom Brady. I would never make him hashbrowns.
9- Nothing smells as good as lilacs. Every new subdivision that is built should be required to plant a certain number of lilac bushes. It’s the humane and civic thing to do. And it would probably end pollution as we know it. I’m probably going to have to run for a government office now, and this will be my platform.
10- Who in the world came up with the name “scrunchie” for the fabric covered elastic that holds our hair in pony tails? And how did it ever catch on?
What strange thoughts keep you up at night?