He said, she said

What I say:  “Maybe later if everything works out we can spend some time together.”

What he hears: “I am absolutely, positively promising to have mind blowing sex with you tonight and if I don’t you have every right to feel slighted and lied to.”


What he says, “I don’t care what you make for dinner.”

What I hear, “I do not care what is for dinner because I am emotionally distant and do not want to have any part of your tiny domestic world.”


What I say, “That’s not how I do it.”

What he hears, “You’re doing it wrong, so stop even trying.”


What he says, “There was a small problem while you were gone, but I took care of it.”

What I hear, “Everything went to hell while you were gone and the fire department came over for a while, but I cleaned up all the evidence and now I’m downplaying the situation.”


What he says, “This dinner was…different.”

What he means, “I hated it with every fiber of my being, but I’m too polite to say it.  Never make it again, please.”


What I say “Do these clothes make me look fat?”

What I mean “Please reassure me that you still find me attractive!”


What he says, “Do you want a back rub?”

What he means, “So…you want to get naked with me?”


What I say, “I’m fine!”

What I mean, “I’m completely ticked off and it’s your fault.”


What he says, “You look really hot.”

What he means, “I love you so much.  And you have a nice butt.”


What I say, “Love you babe.”

What I mean, “I love you more than I can ever express.  For always and forever.  So be careful and come home safely so we can grow old together.”

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9 Responses to He said, she said

  1. Julie Wing says:

    Awww… I love this!! LOL :0D

  2. Sue says:

    And after 35 years of marriage I am going to assure you that none of the above ever changes.
    Don’t know if that is good or bad for you, just letting you know.

  3. Lisa says:

    Funny and so very true! :-)

  4. Woodstockgurl says:

    This is so funny. My hubby ate shepherd’s pie for six month before telling me he hates it, because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings :)

  5. Amber says:

    I find this hilarious and accurate.

  6. Heather says:

    Well said.

  7. Very cute and so so true! There are even more, but this is great :)

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