He said, she said

What I say:  “Maybe later if everything works out we can spend some time together.”

What he hears: “I am absolutely, positively promising to have mind blowing sex with you tonight and if I don’t you have every right to feel slighted and lied to.”

*********

What he says, “I don’t care what you make for dinner.”

What I hear, “I do not care what is for dinner because I am emotionally distant and do not want to have any part of your tiny domestic world.”

*********

What I say, “That’s not how I do it.”

What he hears, “You’re doing it wrong, so stop even trying.”

**********

What he says, “There was a small problem while you were gone, but I took care of it.”

What I hear, “Everything went to hell while you were gone and the fire department came over for a while, but I cleaned up all the evidence and now I’m downplaying the situation.”

***********

What he says, “This dinner was…different.”

What he means, “I hated it with every fiber of my being, but I’m too polite to say it.  Never make it again, please.”

**********

What I say “Do these clothes make me look fat?”

What I mean “Please reassure me that you still find me attractive!”

**********

What he says, “Do you want a back rub?”

What he means, “So…you want to get naked with me?”

***********

What I say, “I’m fine!”

What I mean, “I’m completely ticked off and it’s your fault.”

************

What he says, “You look really hot.”

What he means, “I love you so much.  And you have a nice butt.”

************

What I say, “Love you babe.”

What I mean, “I love you more than I can ever express.  For always and forever.  So be careful and come home safely so we can grow old together.”

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9 Responses to He said, she said

  1. Julie Wing says:

    Awww… I love this!! LOL :0D

  2. Sue says:

    And after 35 years of marriage I am going to assure you that none of the above ever changes.
    Don’t know if that is good or bad for you, just letting you know.

  3. Lisa says:

    Funny and so very true! :-)

  4. Woodstockgurl says:

    This is so funny. My hubby ate shepherd’s pie for six month before telling me he hates it, because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings :)

  5. Amber says:

    I find this hilarious and accurate.

  6. Heather says:

    Well said.

  7. Very cute and so so true! There are even more, but this is great :)

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